Less Guesswork. More Dream Clients.
We've helped 6-7 figure businesses, agencies, and solo-founders elevate their brands. Now, we’ll roast your LinkedIn profile and/or website, showing you how to attract more dream clients and maximize revenue.
What the hell is a...
Brand Roast
In-Depth Video Feedback: A personalized deep dive into your brand, where we walk you through key insights, missed opportunities, and actionable strategies. The goal: immediate brand improvements.
60-Minute Strategy Call: A focused 1-on-1 session with a Graewolves brand strategist. We discuss key findings from our roast and guide your implementation to maximize your ROI.
10% Off our Consulting Services: Get ongoing support with our consulting services as you implement lasting brand improvements and strategies.
You have a great service, but you can't find the words to communicate your value.
You see how many people visit your profile and website, but wonder why so few reach out.
You're constantly anxious because you need to grind to get clients, they don't come to you.
You’re stuck at your current prices, unable to justify the rates you know you deserve.
You’re pissed that less qualified competitors take the clients you should work with.
You're pouring time and money to your brand, but you blend in to the crowd.
Be honest...
is this you?
Look, we get it.
Building a solid brand is difficult. You already wear 12 hats in your business.
Sure you can say "I'll figure it out", but ask yourself this... Can you afford to waste years learning branding, copywriting and design... and lose hundreds of sales in the meantime?
If not, just smash the button below and we'll come in with the save.
What You’ll gain
Clarity on Your Brand's Weak Spots:
Gain a crystal-clear understanding of where your brand is falling short—whether in messaging, UX, design, or positioning—and learn how to fix these gaps quickly.
Stress-Free Conversions:
Sleep easier knowing your brand works 24/7. Let your brand do all the heavy lifting so prospects will be pre-sold before they even contact you.
Save Time, Save Resources:
Get clear, actionable insights from brand experts in 72 hours. Save thousands of dollars in misguided marketing efforts and months of trial-and-error.
Boost Your Revenue:
Justify higher rates and attract more dream clients. We’ll help you showcase your unique value, boosting your bottom line and ROI on every brand investment.
Instant Increase in Authority:
Showcase your full value from the first impression. We'll position your brand so prospects instantly recognize why you're the best choice.
A dedicated space to brag...
Founders that trust us
Take your pick...
PRICING PLANS
starter
professional
Shit you’re too afraid to ask
The official faq
Your brand roast is as private as your incognito browser history. We won't tell if you don't.
Right now? $349 USD per roast. $599 if you want the whole package. Still cheaper than therapy and 10x more effective than "business coaching." (Our clients told us so!)
Within 72 business hours. We'd do it faster, but we need time to recover from the shock of seeing your current branding.
Why not both? We're multitaskers. You'll get actionable advice wrapped in sarcasm and sprinkled with a dash of superiority complex. Because we’ve built 60+ brands, while you… have not.
Then our work here is done. If you loved it, we'd worry we've gone soft.
Just fill in the intake form and show us your brand. Then, bring a box of tissues. We'll handle the rest.
Sure, and we'll throw in a unicorn, a leprechaun and a pot of gold. In other words, no. We deliver the roast, you deliver the courage to implement it. That's the deal.
We've got other services for that. But let's see if you can handle the roast first, champ.
We also do free nose jobs and complimentary rocket launches to Mars. In other words, no.
We're like that brutally honest friend who tells you there's spinach in your teeth before a big date. Except we're not your friend, and your brand has more than just spinach to worry about. We tell you what's wrong and how to fix it. Period.
The value you get is seriously off the charts. And we have 1-hour of roasting you can watch as proof.
Who are we?
The wolves of branding
Milanie grae - Brand Strategist
Neurodivergent founder, brand strategist and copywriter, leveraging 6+ years of high-level copywriting experience to craft messages that whisper into your ICP's ears. She’s your brand booster. Don’t snooze on this offer or you’ll lose her expertise. Capiche?
Jason Dellatolla, ph.D. (c) - Brand Strategist
Former Olympic coach turned TEDx speaker and PhD candidate in pyschology, blending peak performance insights with science-based rigour to cook up brand strategies nobody else can. He’s direct. He’s blunt. He's big-brained. You’ll love him for it.
quit guessing. Start WINNING.
Breathe easy—your brand will attract dream clients, charge what you're worth, and make your competitors cry into their kombucha.
Get roasted, fix your brand, and start turning more clicks into cash.
How it Works: 4 Simple Steps to get Cooked.
What the hell is a brand roast?
It's a kick in the ass for your brand, delivered straight to your inbox in 48-72 business hours.
Here's what you get:
A 10-15 minute video roast that'll make you see your brand with whole new eyes.
Understanding what’s holding your brand back from hauling in the big bucks.
Tearing apart your website, LinkedIn profile, or both. Half-baked or fully cooked. Your choice.
No-BS feedback on why your messaging may not be as clear as you once thought.
How to differentiate yourself effectively so prospects pick you out from the crowd of competitors.
Look, if you want fluffy compliments, call your mom.
But if you want your brand to go from "meh" to your leads howling "take my money," it’s time for you to get roasted.
60+ brands have survived our fires.
I’m sure your ego can handle it, too.
What the hell is a brand roast?
It's a kick in the ass for your brand, delivered straight to your inbox in 48-72 business hours.
Here's how the process looks like:
Get Roasted
We'll tear apart your LinkedIn profile, landing page or newsletter in a private 15-minute video.
Implement Insights
You'll learn exactly how to improve your brand so you can implement straight away (or hire us to do it for you).
Enjoy Results
Your refreshed brand now stands out from your competition and nets you new clients - enjoy the show.
Look, if you want fluffy compliments, call your mom.
But if you want your brand to go from "meh" to your leads howling "take my money," it’s time for you to get roasted.
60+ brands have survived our fires.
I’m sure your ego can handle it, too.
What the hell is a brand roast?
It's a kick in the ass for your brand, delivered straight to your inbox in 48-72 business hours.
Here's how the process looks like:
Get Roasted
We'll tear apart your LinkedIn profile, landing page or newsletter in a private 15-minute video.
Implement Insights
You'll learn exactly how to improve your brand so you can implement straight away (or hire us to do it for you).
Enjoy Results
Your refreshed brand now stands out from your competition and nets you new clients - enjoy the show.
Look, if you want fluffy compliments, call your mom.
But if you want your brand to go from "meh" to your leads howling "take my money," it’s time for you to get roasted.
60+ brands have survived our fires.
I’m sure your ego can handle it, too.